Title of this blog: Love Beauty Truth
Three things I admire, cherish, strive for. However you want to say it.
Although the third one I struggle with. Truth or also interpreted by me as trust. Before you can have trust you must have truth between two individuals. So in a way they go hand in hand. Trust is hard to come by anymore. When I was younger, as with nearly all innocent youth, trust is handed out to anyone willing to make us happy. Life is funny that way in the sense that as you grow older, and supposedly wiser you become more cynical and untrusting. You have your heart broken one too many times, you're screwed over a few times more than u can remember and you're trust bank begins to dwindle. You're told one thing then hear another. You hear one thing then witness another. All of a sudden trust is o so much harder to hand over.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Friday, June 02, 2006
Highs and Lows
I hate highs and lows.
High= excitement about anything, being obliviously happy and content.
Lows=depression, sadness, hopeless despair.
I hate highs because the only place to go once you've reached them is down, and its inevitable. No plateau, no middle ground, no consistency. Down you'll plummet. Depending on the occasion or cause of the trip up you will either continue falling until you are in utter despair or your shirt will get caught by the "lets tell everyone and everything to fuck off" tree branch and it's hard to detangle yourself from that one.
I hate making plans. I have to make plans. I am actually the most devout user of a day planner you'll meet, but thats for writing down things guaranteed to happen. Papers due, debate tournaments, work schedule. I guess that's the double sword. I want to know when things are going to happen and how and I like to plan things out, but it seems that anytime I get a wild hair to make plans out of the blue and surprise someone with them it all goes to shit. They fall apart and I'm stuck here-typing out of angered frustration on my computer. What can you do, right? You can not take the initiative. You can sit back and wait for others to call you. You can make them come to you. But with what? Your charming wit? Your engaging personality? And when noone calls and nothing happens down you fall. It is a slippery slope. Good luck getting stuck on the fuck everything branch. At least if it snags your shirt or underwear you have less ground to cover going back up.
High= excitement about anything, being obliviously happy and content.
Lows=depression, sadness, hopeless despair.
I hate highs because the only place to go once you've reached them is down, and its inevitable. No plateau, no middle ground, no consistency. Down you'll plummet. Depending on the occasion or cause of the trip up you will either continue falling until you are in utter despair or your shirt will get caught by the "lets tell everyone and everything to fuck off" tree branch and it's hard to detangle yourself from that one.
I hate making plans. I have to make plans. I am actually the most devout user of a day planner you'll meet, but thats for writing down things guaranteed to happen. Papers due, debate tournaments, work schedule. I guess that's the double sword. I want to know when things are going to happen and how and I like to plan things out, but it seems that anytime I get a wild hair to make plans out of the blue and surprise someone with them it all goes to shit. They fall apart and I'm stuck here-typing out of angered frustration on my computer. What can you do, right? You can not take the initiative. You can sit back and wait for others to call you. You can make them come to you. But with what? Your charming wit? Your engaging personality? And when noone calls and nothing happens down you fall. It is a slippery slope. Good luck getting stuck on the fuck everything branch. At least if it snags your shirt or underwear you have less ground to cover going back up.
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