I haven't posted on here in forever.
I'm going to start doing so more frequently. Just use it as a place to express my thoughts, feelings, whatever. I used to write a lot when I was younger. It helped me figure things out and vent, but I haven't written anything for as long as I can remember. Maybe thats why things are more unclear, muddled.
Life is good. I can't really complain. I'm in love, doing good in school, getting along with the fam, making a steady income, planning for the future.
That last one is where it gets confusing. I just wonder, can you really plan for the future or does it just happen? One day I'm 21 and the next I'm 35 with two kids. What happens inbetween? Life happens, yes, I know. But is it the life I've alwasy dreamed of or wanted? or is it the life that just happens? I don't want the life that just happens. I want something bigger and better and more meaningful. I feel as if I'm destined for great things. I feel as if I will make a difference in the world, and I want to do that. I feel as if I need to do that, but will that mean my life is more fulfilling or meaningful? Am I just not seeing that I do matter and am making a difference to those right in front of me?
I have one more year of college left and the plan is law school. Where, I'm not sure. Why, I'm not sure. How is it possible to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life at the age of 21?
Don't let this post give you the impression that I'm sad, lost, or unhappy. I'm not the former or the latter. I'm happy and loved. I might be a tad lost or lonely but I suppose those will work themselves out. No worries......
